Deep Thoughts by Amyeliz

Entries from January 2009

Joey

January 25, 2009 · 5 Comments

He belches.

He farts.

He pees in public. He always has. He says it’s ‘his thing.’

He once peed my name in the snow.

He likes to fix things.

He loves hockey.

He wears a ridiculous baseball cap.

He also wears mismatched tube socks.

He’s addicted to The Weather Channel.

He calls ESP, ESPN.

He’s a really good son.

He’s a terrific father.

He rocked my world at 16. I was 14.

He was my best friend at 20. I was 18.

He rocked my world again at 21. I was 19.

He broke my heart at 22. I was 20.

He broke my heart again in 1993, when he became a father, and married someone else.

He said I broke his heart in 1991, when I fell in love with the really great guy who took me away to Florida.

He held my hand at the funeral of a friend in 1993. I was weeks away from moving to Florida.

He walked away from me, after the funeral service, and I wondered if I’d ever see him again. My heart shattered into a million little pieces.

He and I had no contact for over 15 years.

He answered the phone when I called him four weeks ago. I was in town for the holidays.

He came out and met us.

He made us laugh hysterically.

He gave me a ride home.

He asked me out on a date. I said yes.

He called me when I got back to Florida, to tell me that he missed me. I missed him too.

He called a lot. He texted a lot.

He flew out to see me last week. He brought his skateboard, frisbee, and hacky sack.

He cried when we talked about our past. I did too.

He broke my heart when he left on Wednesday.

He’s coming back to see me in two weeks.

He asked me to marry him.

He said he will wait as long as it takes for an answer.

He may be waiting for quite awhile.

Categories: Ex B.F.'s · Friends · Heartache · Relationships

It’s Raining Boys!

January 15, 2009 · 3 Comments

So, it seems I have boys on the brain. This is nothing new, of course.

The Italian is beyond adorable. There are so many thinks I like about him. From his love of Mountain Dew and Pork Rinds, to riding around on the back of his scooter, to the great conversations we always seem to have. Our “is what it is”, “there is no us” statuses seems to be slowly changing, which scares me but also amuses me.

He plays softball a few times a week, and keeps asking me to come watch him play. I keep informing him that I’m not that girl. That girl, being the girl who adoringly watches the guy play his boy sports. Since we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, I think it’s funny that he keeps asking. Monday night, I again didn’t watch him play softball, and for that I’m glad, because he ended up with multiple injuries.

Tuesday morning he called me and asked me if I could bring him some pain reliever. I jumped in the shower, threw on some shorts and a T-shirt, and went to the store to get what he needed (including Mountain Dew). The poor guy was limping around, in horrific pain. I was thrilled that I was the one he called, and even more thrilled to be able to do something nice for him. I guess we’re really growing on each other. I saw him briefly last night, and slept like a baby after he deposited me at my door with sweet little kisses.

On Sunday, I have a former flame from Utah coming down to spend 3 days with me. We reconnected while I was there over the holidays, and have been talking a lot. We’re basically going into hiding, and spending a few days talking, eating and hanging on the beach. I really care about him, and have always had very deep feelings for him. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, nor am I going to worry about it. I’m just happy that he’s coming to see me. I’ve know him since I was 14 and he was 16, and am excited to show him the place I’ve called home for over 15 years.

The Italian knows I have a friend coming into town, and also knows I’ll be out of the picture for a few days. He is so non-intrusive, which makes me like him even more.

I really care about both of these guys, and could possibly see my self with either of them. It’s nice to have choices and options. I just need to be very careful, because the thought of having to hurt either of them pains me greatly.

Categories: Cute Boys · Moving On · Relationships

Resolutely Single

January 2, 2009 · 5 Comments

My New Years resolution for 2009 is to stay single. Already, it’s a challenge, but I really need this time for me. The Italian is still in the picture, and is absolutely fantastic.

I just returned from spending the holidays in Utah. While there, I contacted, and saw, a blast from the past. Many text messages and phone calls later…….old feelings are stirred up, I’m confused, and really fucking glad there are about 12 states between us.

So back to remaining single…here are two excellent reasons why.

1. I never again have to listen to the Grateful Dead, nor do I have to hear tales of “Jerry.”

2. I can order mushrooms on my pizza, any damn time I want. I might even order an entire bowl of mushrooms to accompany my pizza.

That’s all I have for now. Thanks for listening.

Categories: Relationships · Totally Neurotic