It’s been almost seven months since I found out my boyfriend had a little ‘chippy’ on the side.
It’s been almost six months since we ended our relationship, and he moved his saggy, sorry ass out.
I spent about a month and a half, walking around dazed, confused, scared and hurt.
The next month and a half was full of anger and rage.
My therapist called this the mourning process.
Sometime in November, I woke up one morning and I felt great. I really did. I rarely thought about him, and felt like I was finally able to move on. I felt happier than I had in years. I still do.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in months. I hope to keep it this way. Actually, forever would be nice.
Over the last few days, I have heard stories about him from well meaning acquaintances. They say not so nice things about him (and his chippy). I try not to feed into it, but unfortunately I have. The other day, I had a dream in which I said something awful to him. When I woke up, I felt horrible.
Again, I’m feeling the anger creep up. I’m hoping that he has a truly miserable life, and eventually rots in hell. I can say this on the blog, because this was, and has been, my therapeutic tool which helped me immensely during the break-up.
I know these feelings will go away, and I also know just how damaging they are to me. I really just needed to get this off my chest, so I can let it go.
In June, I’ll be gone. The worry of running into him and seeing him will also be gone. That’s a really comforting feeling.
As always, thanks for listening.
3 responses so far ↓
J. // March 17, 2009 at 5:18 pm |
I’m going through a similar process for different reasons, and truly, I think you’re right about just needing more time. I’ll think everything’s OK, then wham!, five steps backward.
Sra // March 17, 2009 at 6:05 pm |
I know how this is. I still have hostile feelings toward one of my exes, when I do happen to think of him, which isn’t very often. But it has come to the point where I can recognize that he is a good person, he was just a bad person to me. So, I’m kind of forgiving him but not forgetting what he did. And our relationship has been over for over 3 years. So, sometimes it takes awhile for these things to fade. But I finally feel like it wouldn’t be a total melt down if I did run into him. Luckily I’ll be leaving this town soon, and won’t have that possibility looming largely anymore.
Good luck with your recovery!
Gatsby Girl // March 18, 2009 at 4:51 pm |
i love that u called his ass “saggy”