11 years ago, shortly following my break-up with my gay ex, I met Dave. We were introduced by one of my co-workers. Dave was independent contractor, doing some work for the newspaper that I worked for. He lived in San Francisco, was recently divorced, and had two small children.
I was physically attracted to him, but after a couple of lunches, more than a few drinks, and an official dinner date, I was absolutely smitten. His personality was incredible, and he taught me how to laugh again.
We began a whirlwind relationship. He vowed we never spend more than three weeks apart. We went back and forth from Miami to San Francisco. Trips to New York, skiing in Utah and Lake Tahoe were also thrown into the mix. Long distance relationships are great, because whenever you’re together, one of you is always on vacation. It was a magical year, and we loved each other very much.
Because of his children, he couldn’t move to Miami, so I started looking for jobs in the Bay area. Much to my surprise, I landed one. I called to tell him, and he seemed less than thrilled. He confessed that he didn’t want a girlfriend in the same city, nor did he want to re-marry and have kids. Heartbroken, and pissed, I broke up with him on the spot.
I stayed in Miami, and within a few weeks I became involved with someone else. Someone who I ended up staying with for almost three years. Dave also met someone. A few months after our break-up, he was in Miami for business. After a huge fight with my boyfriend, I agreed to meet him for drinks. I brought a friend, and he brought a friend. I knew I still loved him, and I think he still loved me. I asked about his girlfriend. He said she was cute, but she wasn’t me. I swooned. At the end of the night, he said he wanted to do something, then pretend like it never happened. Before I could say anything, he was kissing me. We were locked at the lips for a good 3 or 4 minutes, much to the awkward surprise of our friends. I never saw him again.
We spoke from time to time. A few years later, he told me he was marrying the girlfriend. An e-mail a year or two later informed me that they were expecting a child. It took a long time for me to get over him. Like, quite a few years. The fact that he did end up with a girlfriend in the same town, who he married and had children with, really did hurt me.
Today, I am over it, and realize that we came together for a reason, but ultimately we had different paths to take. I just found him on Facebook, and we are now friends. I saw pictures of his wife, and he was right. She’s cute, but she’s not me.
I am so glad that I can always look back at that time, and remember how happy and in love we were. We had an amazing experience together, which I will always remember fondly. Maybe we weren’t meant to be forever, but we were meant to be during that particular year.